“Hello? Vatican switchboard? I’d like to report a miracle. No, the Cubs didn’t win the World Series. They haven’t even played that yet. Yes, the Mets won the NLCS, but that’s not a miracle, not with that pitching.
“No, the miracle I want to report is that I made it through the entirety of TBS’s coverage of the playoffs without publishing one post about how awful their lead announcing team was. Not one. Nope. Totally let it slide.
“Yes, I’ll hold.”
Beatification, here I come.