Logo for the DFR Audible post categoryThis is probably not going to be a popular position to take…but after all, this is the Disgruntled Fan Report. I may try to find some silver linings here and there, but griping goes with the territory.

Anyway, I’m completely sick and tired of all of these damn celebrations after every single walk-off win. What’s wrong with a guy getting a Gatorade shower after hitting a home run to win the game? Nothing, inherently…if it happens once in a while, especially after a huge win, preferably one that put his team into the postseason, or–better yet–just won a playoff series. You know, a win that actually means something. But every single time your team wins? Well, wins a home game, that is; obviously, somebody’d get drilled the next time out if a team did the pie in the face routine on the road.

The problem is multi-fold. First and foremost, at this point, it’s boring. We’ve seen this routine dozens of times…and that’s just this month. This has now been happening on an almost daily basis for a couple of years now. Hasn’t anyone else decided that this thing’s gotten old? It goes to show just how stupid jocks really are; only a Grade A moron could continue to be entertained by the pie and/or bucket-dump routine at this point. Come up with something new if you must go off half-cocked.

Beyond that, what the hell are they celebrating? Winning a game? One game? These guys are professionals, allegedly. Hey, jackasses–you’re supposed to win the game! That’s why you get to cash those checks with all the zeros in the box next to your name. In the playoffs or the Series, sure, go ahead; but a Wednesday night game in May or June? Have a little professional pride and act like you actually meant to come out on top in tonight’s contest.

This should go without saying–and will peg me as old and hopelessly out of touch–but players back in the day didn’t erupt in spontaneous, oddly homoerotic–what’s with tearing a guy’s uniform off?–orgasms on the field when they won a game. A bit of applause, a few high fives and handshakes, and then everyone was back in the dugout collecting their bats. Nobody acted like they just won a war or something.

Seriously, get excited when you actually win something. Until then, knock it off.

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